Here I am suppose to have lots to do because it is the week before spring break and the gift for my birthday came yesterday. My professor who seems can not up labs online fast enough moved it to be due the friday after break. Then statics I have no hw this week. The only HW I have is Circuits that is due on friday but so I thought I would do it tomorrow. The rest is just studying. Yesterday by boss called to say that too many people were working on monday night take monday off. So yesterday I did not work that night.

Today is a beautiful day I finished my studies for today.. and I actually did quite a bit, I feel much more ready and I still have nice weather to spare. The problem is there is no one to share it with. I could go to the park, play with a frisbee or go swinging but there is no one here. So maybe I will try to read Shadow of the Dead outside today.. yes, that sounds nice.

Wow, it really is amazing. I so, I just started this new level called Earth! How do you get out of the caves? ahh! It was driving me insane!

So here I am updating. So, it seems everyone has something to complain about these days! The weather, classes, boys, girls, friends, parties, cleaning, food, Barbie probably is even complaining that she has been dating Ken for too long. Maybe Barbie accidently drunk the water from the tree in Tuck Everlasting and now she can live forever... but in a twist of in plastic form.

And any how, the point I was getting to is time is going fast! Be happy for what you have! Like... classes and the weather and friends because before you know it globe warming will kill us all! (j/k, maybe just turn Arizonia into a deadly state!)

So... I was thinking of little kids cause I actually saw two little kids on campus! wow, and it hit me that they are so cute and kids say the darnest things! Like you hear random things that no one else over 8 would say. They are so cool.

hmmm... I just had a ton of really neato thoughts but then they came crashing down so fast... I forgot what I was going to type. In any case, Dream of being Gimili or Harry Potter and save the day!

http://www.thatsfit.com/2007/02/12/no-more-mr-right-study-finds-women-prefer-mr-average/

I found this interesting. Average Joe's or Average Jane's?

So Kellie is making a made up identity and making a new myspcae account which I found hilarious. I was thinking of how many people have relationships from myspace and how they are in love with it and here is Kellie destorying people love and life. I think people can not be addicted to the computer all the time. It is like is myspace really your life?

Tho, mine like is sort of sad... I work at a vet hosiptal and do hw about 90% of my time. But at least I am doing something. At least I am working hard for my major. At least I have a job that people respect (most of the time).

Sweet Caroline. Beautiful, friendly, Caroline trained me, helped me. I only knew her say... three weeks and she was one of my favorite co-workers and now she will be gone. Carolina can not work nights at all and no one can help her. Because we all hate mornings but none of us can afford to take on two extra nights. She has to quit next week and can not even do a two weeks notice. Poor Caroline. Caroline and her boyfriend will be strong and find another more promising job I hope.

It is weird. I used to think.. lots of us were or are single and now I find more and more everyone found someone and they are not short relationships they are 6 months, two years, a life time. College is not about how many friends you have or how many boys you know. It is who you want to be with and who understands you and enjoys your company.

Life's to short. Or as Dumbordore, "You have love, just love." "Life is short for the people that love but at least they found the reason to live"

Okay okay I am mixing Dumbordore with LOTR or something!

But, hey, why not? Why did Riddle fear death?

My EE 261 and EE 262 classes are not my my schudule for some random reason, and I was about to go to my advisor today but she is gone today. I went to start my Statics HW after class today... and I forgot my engineering paper for it. The only thing that did go neat is that there are puppies at work and everyone keeps on playing with them. I work on monday and friday nights. I thought that was cool.. cause that means the middle of the week I have no morning or evening work so I can... study (boo) but it is nice.

Life is good. I am not even tired. I am hungry. I was going to put ten dollars into my account for school so I can eat at my hour break cause after work and stuff I am really really hungry then. I am having a problem putting the money on there... but I will find a way... I must... I am hungry!

well well..... so yesterday I was looking up articles and there was one about a guy who was 1000 pounds or actually weighted more than that but he now currently weighs 1000 pounds. I guess this guy has a disorder and gains weight like nothing other. The pictures are gross, it makes me wonder why he let himself get to be the fat. I guess the world record is a big deal to some people more than I thought it would. Gross Gross Gross.

hmm... well.... lame entry.. yes... oh well.

I go into work, pet my favorite dog named Bear who is a puppy... I forget what dog type tho. I clean with Jamie and we say "Happy Birthday" to the guy that trained me yesterday, he turn's 71 today or 26 to him.

I am walking home only to notice Chris's truck on the side of the rode by the bus top closest to my apartment. I walk up to Chris and Daniel, they were on their way to drop off bread. Chris ask her friend (I forget the name so we will call him Bob). He comes shortly, but we needed to move Chris's truck more into the bus stop or backwards, so, since I am the lightest, I go in. Chris asks "Remember how to do Clutch?" I say" ahmmm.... yeah... sort of, I dont need to do much tho, since it is not going on", and I go in and steer while the others push. Then Bob pulls his car next to Chris's front and tries to jump start it... nothing works. After 20-30 mins, he leaves. Then Chris calls AAA and they say they are coming in a hour. I wait 5 mins and say I cant feel my lips or hands anymore, after all not moving and being in the cold is harder than walking around and being in the cold. I ask Chris if she would like anything, and I give her wool socks and her thick gloves. After that, I made top ramen and heated up.

Then I checked if I had any messages on my phone, saw that I didn't, I just hoped Paul got my messaged at 5 ish but I am sure he did.

Then Kellie asked about Programming and I responded or helped remembering that she does not know anything and I dont want to help too much.

I was thinking of something really good for katies order and disorder thing. As I was walking to class this morning I saw leaves still on a tree, and then there was ice and snow on top of it. Cool disorder huh?

hmmmm......... welll..... I guess Harry POtter time....

drained does not have to be a sad face!

Back to school and I do not even feel like doing stuff for my classes.

I wonder if people really can live off of computer games and cheetos. I keep thinking of how lazy today society is and I wonder if the people who make these computer/ video games realize what they are doing to people. We are worse then couch potatos now. We are screen staring people who forgot how fun it is to go to the beach or the park. But what about those cold winter nights? You are stuck in doors... I am not really sure. I suppose now-a-days people are used to being alone more often and the only way to pass time is by playing these games. How many streets are there where people know everyone on the street?

I remember one today where our little area came and started playing baseball, we did not organize it at all. That was pretty cool. Or you know when you are little, you never call your friend to hang out, you just walk over to there house and knock on the door and just start playing whatever you guys want. Like hot lava... that was a great game.

It seems like we do not even need or want backyards anymore, like we dont even know what to do with them...

It is sad..... because what was I doing these past hours.... Statics HW and play games/surfing the net. Why was I doing this? Because I was passing the time by myself till work came.

Lame huh? I can not wait for summer... no school. Beautiful walks, sun that lasts past 4:30 pm, and the smell of fresh cut grass (as long as the smell isnt stuck on me!)

how jedi are you? :: by lawrie malen


I guess I am more Jedi than I thought.... The questions for a Jedi were so nice and peaceful and yet I am a motherfucker?

I dont know what it is, but tis the season to be jolly. This year.. I seem to want to decorate and be in the season a little early. Why? Because in the season means.... Paul! and he is so great! yay. I want to decorate trees and bake cookies and have snow ball fights. Yeah... Christmas is fun. Today is tuesday and before we know it the week will be over and then it is just two weeks! Yes, I know, including finals. But really... at least with finals there is no homework to due and the tests are usually spaced pretty well. Finals really isn't as bad as we say they are. I think the tests before finals have more of a challange because you just learned the material and then you are getting tested. Finals is just a summary of what you learned. And they are not giving you really hard problems.. just problems that prove you remembered what you learned.

I can't wait for Christmas.... maybe I should burn Christmas songs on my computer.

So... HW goes crazy, life moves on. I am just chillin'.

What is the news for today? Titled" What should we do about him?" North Korea has sucessful Atomic bombs. I am thinking... what should we do? Lets find out, click! I open the article. What a waste. It just says we need to talk to the UN and be stern aganist North Korea. I was wondering what their actual plans are.

Then the 2nd biggest topic: A 603- carat diamond. That is one heavy rock! It looks like a plastic golf ball and it worth 12 million dollars or more.

What is odder yet... if odder is a word...yahoo's featured article is 30 ways to eat a pumpkin... all I know. is what I like about pumpkins... I dont need 30 ways to eat it. You can make a jank-o-lantern, make pumpkin pie (yum!) and make pumpkin seeds.

and nothing can get stranger when you pop up the entertainment page and the have Jon Stuart shirts to run for prez.

This is our world... we are strange. we are obese. we are entertainment craved. we are money driven. And we forgot the classics. The whole made recipes that last a life time, the monopoly nights, the news were people are not taking over the world. We are the Y2K generation. What happens if we lost our technology because we could not find a way to keep electricity or gas? Oil will disappear, golbal warming isnt a joke folks. Maybe not now, but life is going to change whether we like it or not.

Casper the friendly ghost, friendlyest ghost around!

So, I am walking back from the party and energy grew and grew and I felt like a kid and I wanted to grab onto Paul and hug him till he starts laughing and I laugh too. I am soooo excited to see Paul, it is crazy. So when I came to the party and seeing every one together and how we all laughed and enjoyed the cake. I thought it was interesting that really, we all are so very different. We have Erica, the RA that is dating a 26 year old and she is crazy and wild but also wants to be the best RA out there. Then there is Anna and Keldon.... Keldon is 18 and Anna just turned 21. Anna is in the honors program and is career driven and Keldon...... well he is just a band geek. We have Chris.. who did not come to the party, she was baking for her youth group. We have Kellie........ you all know Kellie loves jokes and all types a humor, mostly politics and religon bashing. Then we have Kyler who is a lazy nerd that is good with taking his computer apart and putting it back together.

We all are so odd really. And did you notice all of the girls have boyfriends? Yeah, it just shows, we girls rock! And we are hott!! hehe, jk.

So I was thinking of life and who you come by and come across. I dont see Anna or Erica anymore, except for a planned event well in advanced. But you have to go to those things because sometimes seeing some one that you dont see that often is fun and you remember why you two connected. I think when people disregard an invitation because they havent see someone in a long time or you dont want to go somewhere because you dont know the people you havent even yourself the chance to learn about society. We can not stay in our circle, you have to branch out because we will be missing out on what the world is giving us. To learn more about others so we can learn about ourselves.

*sighs*

I did not study, my day was not physically tiring, but the information and calling is exhausting because it is so fuzzy and crazy. So... our flight is thursday, 8:10 am to chicago and then we are driving to Sheboygan for the pre- funeral thingy and then we drive to manitowac, then we stay at a relative's house (not sure on which one). Then friday we go to the funeral service. And then we leave to the cottage at the lake... something till sunday. Mom will stay in Wisconsin and work from home since she would have gone back to WI in a few days. Then ending, is another direct flight, (boo no stops in Phoenix) and back to Seattle on Monday. Our airline is Southwest. agh... flying with family sucks.

I am annoyed, and I kinda just want Katie home so I am not stuck with my parents. blah.

oh, while I was at morgan's we made peanut butter chocolate chip mini cookies and while baking the cookies we watched the ending of Aleins 2 and wow, it was weird and creepy. And now for some sense and sensiblity. Sorry Dune, I only can handle so much sci fi.

I hope tommorrow I can talk to the airline people to refund me, that would be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
                                                                                                          Cool!!!!!!                               

Now, I know there are quite a few contradicting points but my thought on how formal wear was invented is that for woman is revealing and for men it is not.

Woman feel comfortable wearing shirts and jeans or feel comfortable wearing clothes pretty well covered. Men seem to like wearing less clothes, like shorts and t shirts. And comfort is to always to be casual. When someone wants to look good or stylish, more often then not they are uncomfortable. So, Woman wearing dresses for so long found comfort in pants and wanted to stick with them but since dresses have always been in womans style they added more less comfort and made them a little revealing. For men, they covered them up, so they get hot and annoyed, and put them in tuxes because black makes people look slim and good. So... why would they do this? beause when you want to look good, you usually are trying to attract the opposite sex, so by choosing outfits that are un-comfy, you are not thinking about being scared, you are thinking about how crappy this outfit is.

Or maybe it is because in history, we all wore togas. Then they found out you can do more stuff with pants, but only let the men wear them, because they had to do more heavy lifting at the time. Then time wore on to the point wear men never wore dresses and woman still did because... they were not the ones chopping down the wood. And then time wore on again and woman started wearing pants. But now, they are so casual they needed to have formal wear and remembered, woman look good in dresses and etc. BUt they forgot that men wore dresses then too, and thought about penguins some point in time and made tuxes and woman wore dresses.

so... random?

Okay, so my random past memory is cooking eggs. Scrambled or fried? Paul can cook fried and I can cook scrambled and I remember watching Paul cook fried eggs and then laughing and having fun, even if one egg broke. We did not care how good or bad the cooking was. We laughed, we ate, we did not even do the dishes right away. I miss cooking with people. I will not cook good meals for myself because I do not care. I do not like cooking by myself because it is not really that fun, I can do it, but there is no enjoyment from it. So, if I can cook with someone, have fun, enjoy making it good or bad, it stays with me because most of the time I cook for everyone else. Thank you Paul, you would not think of it as a fantasic memory but it is. I was just thinking of making foods for my family and thinking how excited I get when I can cook with friends or Paul vs. cooking for my parents.

ahh.... a summer day.

Beautiful sunset, the weather were you want to have watermelon and corn on te cob. The kind of weather that makes every bad customer go away and you can look outside and feel good until your mind thinks of the day and how perfect it would be if he was there. I miss him. Today is only 90 but the weather does remind me of Arizonia. Maybe because I am wearing more clothes in 90 degrees than in the 100 degree. Or the sunset that paints skys.

anywayz. disappointed again, perhaps I should stop trying. Dad said "do not make your saturday morning busy, we are going to paint the bumper. I did, I turned down working 7:30 - 4 for it. And my Dad said today "oh, I forgot, I made plans". *shrug* oh well.

We had a scary customer, Anna, jayme, and I should have called a manager but we didn't. He was very intimadating. He was from utah and was trying to return some clothes with his recipt. he had tags on the recipts too. So everything was going peachy, but then these were old fashion recipts. We have new computers, so we had to enter them in manually. And the guy was telling us how to enter them in, which was annoying and I said hold on, we can do this. And he was just like, hit okay now! we were like "well, we are not very good with doing manually since this recipt does not tell which area each part goes in to. And jayme did it wrong the first time, and did no recipt because it is easier and asked for ID. he refused to ask give it and told her to redo it. I wish i was listening and helping jayme then.. because I would had called a manager. He was also complaining with Anna and I was helping her. Jayme redid it correctly and we gave him cash back for everything.. I think we should have called a manager.

I think we were scared but we didnt really need to call a manager, he was just scaring us. I also got Janice and Abby to come help because I have not been here long enough, when we also had the old computer with those recipts. they knew what to do, but still, even them, we all were a little nervous. We had no reason to be, we had Curt as our manager, big buff old guy who scares all customers we are afraid of. It kinda shows that even though we had the right to call a manager or Security we did not. We girls gave in. We are weak when guys, creepy guys tell us what to do. We did not stand up to our selfs. We should have stood up to him...

Oh yes, fitting rooms...

I was actually excited to get petite fitting rooms because they get the least amount of clothes.

So I start putting clothes away until I put one clothing item in the wrong spot... and then my manager comes to me and says that does not go there, you see we have a camera around the petite fitting room area, so we know when you put things in the wrong area. So... I go a lot closer and put things away... then I put a bunch of tank tops that are 50% off on the 50% off area, but since they were the only ones left it look like I up them all in the wrong spot, so manager came by me again to tell me I put them in the wrong spot..

And then when I think it is over, the other fitting room people except for junoirs fitting girl (she is nice), kept putting their clothes in my fitting room, because if they could not find a place to put their stuff, they knew I had to put it in the correct spot because I have cameras watching me... meanies. I am glad I work at the mall quad normally...

So.. I call Morgan and Alyssa, hopefully one of them responds back. hmmm.... well... thats all for today.. unless I want to wrote later.. we shall see.

I love you!
(ps... directed to Paul)

So, since I called Morgan and she is busy and Alyssa turned off her phone, and my Mom is gone? I am typing an entry.

I was driving home from work today, so beautiful the weather is... it is peaceful. I almost thought about knocking on the Jellison door, but I was a little hungry and thought I should ask Paul first and went home instead.

Katie is with Loren making rasberry pies at his house. Isn't that cool? I did not think Loren could bake, I suppose there are surprises in us all that we do not know about. Today makes me think of walking on the beach, or having a bonfire. Being with someone that you can talk to and enjoying the outdoors.

It also makes me think of playing frisbee with Paul and his friends on the road. Man, Paul can jump far and high! That was a blast. I feel like curling up in a blanket with Paul and watching the sunset, and in my thoughts that can happen, in a month, it could be reality without a blanket.... to hot.

It is weird, I have so much news, thoughts a gossip, but I feel like I have nothing to say, only actions and emotions. No words right now. Perhaps I am enjoying the sun..

I love you!

Angus Tuck: If there's one thing I've learned about people, many will do anything, anything not to die. And they'll do anything to keep from living their life.


Angus Tuck: What we Tucks have you can't call it living. We just... are. We're like rocks, stuck at the side of a stream.


Angus Tuck: Don't be afraid of death, Winnie. Be afraid of the unlived life.


I think back on the play Tuck Everlasting, remembering watching in the Milwaukee theater with my schoolmates giggling and waiting for the show to begin. I did not really get the plot line then, I just thought why did Whinne not drink the water and give it to a frog to last forever with Tuck? She loved him!

I understand now. Time goes by, you are not suspose to live forever, if you did, life would not give you happiness or sadiness, it would be.. like Angus Tuck says "We just... are. We're like rocks, stuck at the side of a stream. You stoping being in the flow of what is happening. Life would not matter.

But then you think about whinne and Jessie (Jessie is immoral and drinked the water to live forever). They loved ever other, but she let him go, she had to. She did not want to side on the side of the stream. She wanted to live her life "to the best and then die in peace.

I think about relationships, all different types. Some of us are running from our lives, others are living it to the fullest, and yet some are on the side of the stream waiting for someone to catch them like a fish waiting for the hook. Where am I in life? I am caught in the middle. I am sitting on the side when I remind myself to be conversative and remember that some of my friends are dull and I probably should not hang out with them. And then I think about Paul, and think it is the current in the water. Mrs. Foster: "Every time I look at you, you're different." We are having similar or same topics of talk but we are ever changing, and we can not help but to answer the phone even if it is a hello and a good bye. Just the voice alone remembers that you have someone that cares for you, that loves you. And you smile, grin and think of Jesse's quote: "How am I supposed to take you home when I can't make my feet move from this spot. If I could die tomorrow I would, just so I could spend one more night with you."

So tonight, maybe it was just okay, it was not the best of nights, but I did something, it was okay, did I live my day to the fullest, not really, but for now, it will work, I was with people, fireworks were light, for a brief moment, I was okay.

I leave you with this, if you have ever seen Tuck everlasting, we will watch the movie. If you have seen the movie, the play is really not that good. The words are true, and a few quotes to finish my Tuck Everlasting moment:

Winnie: I don't wanna die, is that wrong?
Angus Tuck: No. It's part of being human.

Narrator: Tuck said it to Winnie the summer she turned 15: Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don't have to live forever. You just have to live. And she did

Jessie (he will never die) "I will love you until the day I die! "

Good night all of you folks!

I love you!